


ditch the whole scene and keep dreaming

by exyjunkies



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Fluff, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 20:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7375579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exyjunkies/pseuds/exyjunkies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam doesn’t know about you, but he’s feeling 22.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ditch the whole scene and keep dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> As I write this, it is 4:14 PM on July 3, 2016 in my timezone, so happy freaking birthday, Adam Parrish. You are too good for this world. Ronan loves you. 
> 
> Obviously, inspired by [Taylor Swift's hit song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgFeZr5ptV8).

No matter how many times Gansey insisted, Ronan just told him, point-blank, no bullshit, that Adam was _not_ the type to have his birthday celebrated.

It fell on a Sunday this year, which was utterly the most convenient day for everybody’s schedules. On the days leading up to it, Gansey had tried, over and over again, to convince the whole gang to come up with _something_ before Adam failed to be annually happy for the 22nd time.

Now that it was July 3rd, Ronan supposed the best present that wouldn’t cost a penny would be to tape up Gansey’s mouth and effectively save the world from another useless bout of noise pollution. Or dream up a fake Glendower to have Gansey prattle on about something else for once. Adam would, no doubt, absolutely _love_ that.

“No, Dick, he does _not_ want anything to do with the cake and the balloons and the presents,” Ronan deadpanned, when Gansey asked him about the logistics and reasonable monetary value of all three. Frankly, it was getting annoying.

Blue, who had resigned herself to the couch, put her legs up and motioned for Noah to lie down on her lap. “It’s true,” she said, stroking Noah’s hair. “He was never the type to follow social conventions.”

“But don’t you guys just find it kind of _sad_ ,” Gansey whined, pacing around his room, taking care to sidestep his Henrietta model. “That Adam, our dear, sweet Adam, who deserves the world on a silver platter, hasn’t properly celebrated the day he was born? For the past 21 years?”

“Maybe he just hates the idea of getting old,” Noah piped up, turning in Blue’s lap to face Gansey. “I mean, we already have someone in the group who’s practically a 50 year-old being immature about a birthday celebration.”

Gansey pointedly ignored Ronan’s snigger and his, “Good one, Noah.” and replied, “Still. I think we should do something. Take him to Nino’s later, maybe? Free birthday sundae? Jane, educate me on the protocol of that restaurant, stat.”

Blue’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know you cared enough about us mediocre citizens to ask about _how we do things_ ,” she said, looking positively affronted. When all Gansey gave back was an expectant look, she sighed.

“Look, as far as I know, Nino’s doesn’t do any of that specialized birthday crap. Something about how we should celebrate our existence on Earth every day. And with that,” at this, she put up her hands and wiggled her fingers, “We offer you the Nino’s Bear-thday Special!” She put her hands down and added, in an overly enthusiastic voice, “It’s big, it has sprinkles, and if you get to finish and reach the bottom, there’s a real bear sound effect played through the speakers! "Personal growl-th”, my manager says.“

Gansey made a face while Ronan tried his best not to cry from laughing so hard. He fell from his armchair. " _Oh my God_ — is that _actually_ — _serious_ — man, that’s fucking _priceless_!” Ronan managed through fits of laughter.

“Oh, it’s _very serious_ ,” Blue said, putting on her best serious face. “One time, a baby ate the whole thing and got so scared she ended up crying on the way out.”

“ _Regardless_ ,” Gansey said loudly, over Ronan’s uncontrollable cackling. “There has to be something we could to make him feel special. He deserves to do something other than homework or Cabeswater’s bidding.”

“But Gansey,” Noah replied, sitting up. His face was somber, expressionless. “Those are his two favorite things in the _world_.”

Blue and Ronan couldn’t contain themselves anymore. “Give it up, man,” Ronan said, breathless from laughing so hard. “There is no way in _goddamn hell_ you could convince Parrish to celebrate his special day here on Earth like a normal person.”

“Besides,” Blue added, trying to catch her breath. “He’ll get mad if you try to bring up anything related to your money or his lack of it. And you don’t want that.”

Gansey wrinkled his nose. “It still doesn’t feel _right_ ,” he muttered, settling down beside a fallen building on his mini-Henrietta. “Why deprive yourself of people willing to give you the finer things in life?”

“Okay, he’s being an asshole now, it’s not funny,” Blue said, rolling her eyes. She stood up and walked over to where Gansey is. “If Noah, Ronan and I celebrate Adam’s birthday with you — y'know, to appreciate Adam in our own special way, toasts and thoughts and all — at Nino’s later, will you stop being such a class A douchebag?

"Without Adam,” Noah added. “He wouldn’t want us doing something for his benefit.”

“Right.” Blue nodded, sitting down beside a crestfallen Gansey. “Call it Adam Appreciation Day or… whatever. He’s a self-made man, Gansey. Besides, he texted me a few hours ago that Cabeswater’s making him do something for the whole day. The forest is probably covering St. Agnes with vines and flowers right now.”

“On his _birthday_?” Gansey looked so insulted that Ronan had to suppress another snort.

Pushing glasses up the bridge of his nose, he exhaled, giving in. “Fine. The four of us, without Adam.” Then, as an afterthought, he put a finger up and added, “ _But_ I get to buy him one no-big-deal present. It won’t be extravagant, I promise.”

Blue looked at him, considering this. She narrowed her eyes. “Ronan? Final verdict?”

Thinking this through, Ronan rifled through his mind for anything bad that could happen. If Gansey promised to put effort into giving a gift and not just anything that his wallet could conjure up in seconds, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

“Suit yourself. There's nothing wrong with that plan. But I'd rather stay at Monmouth tonight. We need someone looking over this place while Dick’s kind and generous soul is appeased,” Ronan said, reaching over and teasingly ruffling Gansey’s hair. Standing up, he continued, “Besides, Opal might ruin the whole place if I’m not here to mitigate her mess.”

Blue made a _not bad_  face. Noah’s eyes lit up. “I’m _so excited_  to try that bear sundae!” he exclaimed, jumping up and down on the couch.

“Um, Noah, you’re dead, where would it all go?”

“Blue, I thought you just got promoted from official killjoy of this group.”

As Ronan made his way back to his room, he shrugged and commented, “Maybe Gansey wanted to share the position with the maggot.”

Ronan grinned and shut his door just as a shoe was about to hit him. 

* * *

Sunday evening rolled around easily and saw a giddy Blue, a weirdly on-top-of-the-world Noah, and a last-minute panicky Gansey leaving for Nino’s at 7. After nodded repeatedly and shouting a final “Yes, Gansey, I _fucking promise_ to keep this place clean! _God!_ ” _,_ Ronan slammed the door and turned around.

Monmouth Manufacturing, all to himself. Well, and Opal. The possibilities for the next three hours were _endless_.

Ronan was going to do _jack shit_ about any of those possibilities. 

He ran back up to the second floor and plopped himself on the couch. He started toying with the television’s remote control as he stared up the ceiling. The rest of the evening was going to be completely uneventful as he set about doing the one thing he wanted to do: think about Adam.

He'd mentally conjure up images of Adam: his piercing blue eyes, his prominent cheekbones, his tanned skin, his dusty-brown messy hair. Then he'd proceed to berate himself for not having told Adam  _anything_ , because he's a useless little cowardly shit, and would honestly rather _die_ than let himself and his feelings be known. Then he'd run through all the plausible scenarios in his mind, moments that would never happen, versions of him telling Adam about his stupid, stupid crush (which, if Ronan thought about it, has been ongoing for more than three years). Then, if she was up to it, he'd ask Opal for advice. (He always got the same thing in return, which was an exasperated  _kerah_. Chainsaw, if within earshot, would flap her wings and agree.) Then, if he was ahead of schedule and had more time, he would jack himself off and vow to never tell anyone, because telling meant weakness, and he could  _so_ keep this lowkey until it didn't matter anymore.

Y'know, the usual way Ronan's evenings went.

Ronan sighed. There were many reasons supporting his decision to not tell, most of them centering around his fear that he'll fuck it all up.  _Jesus_. Adam was significantly out of his league. Nowadays, Ronan wasn't even sure if he deserved a league. Adam was too amazing, a level too unreachable, a pedestal millions of worlds away, for anything to actually happen. Ronan was, plain and simple, garbage in comparison.

 _So what_ if he could take things out of his dreams? Ronan highly doubted this impressed Adam at all. Not that he intended to impress _anyone_ with his father's gift, God bless his soul, it's just that... well, it wouldn't be so bad if his magic helped put him on Adam's wavelength. It just wasn't good enough.

Besides, the last person Adam had romantically gone out with was Blue. He  _had_ admitted his bisexuality not too long ago, but that was just too beside the point. Adam hadn't meant he liked Ronan; he meant he was open to the possibility of liking  _boys_ as much as girls. He could be into Gansey, for all he knew. Or even Noah. 

_Be a loser if you want to, but don’t make me part of it to make yourself feel better._

Adam's words crawled violently through Ronan's mind, making him wince. He didn't know if he meant those words at all, but even so, Adam wasn't entirely  _wrong_. Ronan was a loser, who liked dreaming and racing and speaking Latin and taking care of a raven and a dreamed up girl. A loser who wasn't directing his life towards anything but towards a future of keeping the Barns together, nothing more, nothing less. A loser who cared about his schoolwork about zero percent of the time. A loser who was in love with Adam. 

Ronan groaned, pressing the heel of his left hand to his forehead.  _God_ , did he need a way out. This was definitely no way to live a life, pining for one of his best friends. Ronan briefly considered those self-help books Gansey kept in the bookshelves upstairs, then decided against it. If he couldn't help himself, then there was no use getting help from an author that didn't know any better. 

The doorbell rang, snapping Ronan out of his thoughts.

He blinked at his watch. 7:30.  _Huh_ _._ It was way too early for them to be back already.

Approaching the entrance to Monmouth, he turned the doorknob and pulled it open, saying, "Gansey, if you returned to check up on me, I  _swear—_ "

"Yeah, yeah, Gansey this, Gansey that, blah blah blah, can't we talk about  _anything_ else?"

Ronan stopped short and gaped at the sight in front of him. It was slowly registering in his mind, the details filing in one by one: the blue eyes shining against the darkness, the cheekbones flushed, the skin sprinkled with freckles, the hair haphazardly ruffled. One hand gripping the neck of a five-fingers empty bottle of whiskey, the other braced by the wall outside the door. The eyes staring back at him expectantly.

It was Adam. A 22-year old Adam, very much on his way to being completely _wasted_.

Ronan pinched his forearm, because he read somewhere this was effective in telling whether this was a dream or not. Being a dreamer, he never did it, and he never needed to, but _—_

_What the fuck._

Instead of waking up, Ronan found himself being pushed aside as Adam (actual, real-life, Adam, _what the fuck_ ) sloppily made his way in and grumbled incoherently about stairs as he made his way up the factory.

"Adam, what the _—_ " The door to the second floor was slammed closed in reply. Ronan was stunned into silence. 

Was this  _actually_ happening? Ronan shook himself out of the initial surprise and ran up to the second floor. There was time to text Gansey and the others about it later.

When he opened the door, he found Adam sprawled across the couch, idly channel-surfing and taking a swig from his whiskey bottle. The bottle was in danger of being fully consumed by Adam, who, Ronan knew, was not highly tolerant of alcohol. 

" _Ronan!_ " Adam's voice was heavily slurred and syrupy, and was pitched as if he was imitating a children's blanket ghost. "Come here, sit, sit, we haven't talked in," he paused to think, "like,  _several days_."

Cautiously, Ronan made his way towards Drunk Adam and sat on the seat he was enthusiastically patting. "Parrish, honestly, you stink. And you're freaking me _the fuck out—"_

"Aw,  _come on_ , Lynch," Adam drawled, draping an arm around Ronan, who was exceedingly becoming worried by the second. "Is that any way to treat a guest whose birthday is  _today_? Didn't Gansey teach you any _*hic*_ mannerrrrs?" His  _r_ was prolonged for two seconds. 

"Um," Ronan replied, taking Adam's arm off of him, "I'm pretty sure you couldn't have made it here with how drunk you are."

Blinking, Adam shot back a, "Psh, don't you  _believe_ I can do anything, Greywaren?" and slumped back down on the opposite end of the couch, staring at Ronan.

"You know," Adam continued, pointing a lazy finger at Ronan, "You guys didn't celebrate my birthday. Why is that, I wonder?"

Ronan still couldn't believe this wasn't his mind playing tricks on him. Adam being drunk was, undeniably, the best and worst thing to happen to him right now.

Prying the whiskey bottle from his hand and ignoring Adam's protest, he replied, "The maggot said you had Cabeswater business, so they're all off celebrating your birthday at Nino's. You should go. They're eating a bear sundae in your honor."

Adam hiccuped, then, "Ah, but Blue was  _lyyyyying_. I took the day off and bought that," at this, he tilted his chin at the whiskey bottle, "from the place near St. Agnes. For my birthday, I figured I'd drink myself stupid and not care about anything I usually care about."

He was taken aback as Adam took back the bottle with a sharp  _ha!_ and twisted the cap open. 

"You really shouldn't drink anymore of this," Ronan started, but was cut off by Adam's, "Stop being such a  _killjoy_ , Lynch, and grab a fucking glass."

Ronan only stared, until Adam added, "Or are you too _*hic*_ _pussy_?"

He stood up quickly and made his way to the kitchen-bathroom-laundry, taking quick, short breaths to steady himself. Grabbing a chipped mug from the sink that wasn't entirely dirty, Ronan shook his head in disbelief. There were only so many ways this night could go, and now, he had to ready himself for whatever was coming.

For his special day, it seemed Adam could afford to give himself three gifts: a full 24 hours playing hooky, a post-birthday hangover, and an extremely confused Ronan Lynch. And he had ultimately succeeded on all three counts. Ronan was, for the most part, rendered speechless.

That, and he was also downright  _terrified_.

If Ronan ends up saying anything tonight, he might as well throw himself off Monmouth's roof. There was the high possibility that Adam would forget the next five hours tomorrow morning, but he didn't want to take the risk. If anything, Adam's freak brain might document the whole affair and remember every detail. 

He was so _fucked_.

Trudging back to the couch, Ronan sat down and watched as Adam, was beside him, was intently reading the label of the whiskey bottle.

" _Christ_ ," Adam said, drawing out the one syllable to make it last longer. "Did you  _know_ this has 96 damn calories? _Shiiiiiiiit_. Way to trick us young adults."

Ronan took the bottle from Adam and poured himself three fingers. He  _definitely_ needed to drink. "Well, that's what you get for not thinking of your health, Parrish."

"I don't need to lose weight and you fucking  _know it_ ," Adam retorted, crossing his arms. "I have a very beautiful body, thank you."

If Adam was going to keep saying swear words like  _that_ , Ronan foresaw an early death for himself. He also didn't need to be reminded of the state of Adam's body. With all his willpower, he focused his eyes attentively on his chipped mug. 

"Hey, Ronan, tell me something," Adam poked Ronan's arm. He grabbed the whiskey bottle and took a swig before continuing, "Where do you plan on studying in the  _*hic*_ future?"

"School's not for me, Parrish. You know that." Ronan took a drink from his mug and glared at Adam. 

"Yeah, but, like, y'know," Adam fumbled, and Ronan honestly thought how _cute_ it was even though, for Adam, it equated to a brain aneurysm. "What if you apply to the same school I'm in?"

"Princeton? With you and Gansey?" Ronan didn't even try to keep his laughter in. " _In your dreams_."

At this, Adam shrugged. "Well, if that's the case, then there's no use in trying to tell you a secret."

Ronan's interest was piqued.  _A secret_? That Drunk Adam was going to tell him and not remember telling him?  _Well_. 

"Hypothetically speaking, if I was going to apply to Princeton," Ronan began, "then would you tell me the secret?"

" _Hmmmm_ ," Adam looked at the ceiling, as if it had his answer. "I think you can know, if you were. Going to Princeton, I mean."

As Adam took another swig from the bottle, Ronan said, "Okay. I'm going to nerd school. I'll dream up an application form. What is it already?"

Setting down the bottle on the floor, Adam looked at Ronan with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Ronan furrowed his eyebrows and waited. There was a silence that stretched for too long, in Ronan's opinion, so he snapped, "Parrish. What is it."

" _Okaaaaaay_ , but you have to  _promise_ you won't tell Adam. Or Gansey. Or Noah. Or Blue. Or Maura. Or _—"_

Ronan rolled his eyes at Adam referring to himself. _Honestly_. He was practically talking to a 7 year-old. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Parrish, mum's the word. I'll keep your fucking secret. Spill." 

Adam cupped a hand to his mouth, and whispered.

" _Adam likes Ronan._ "

Ronan's eyes widened. He heard his heart stop beating for a second, and all he could hear was Adam's soft giggles, his hurried shushes, the sound of his deep swallow. 

 _Was that fucking true_? And if so, then why had Adam chosen to tell him in this state of inebriation?

"For how long?" Ronan managed, trying to keep his voice level.

Drunk Adam smirked. "For  _quite_ a while, my man. He just hasn't told him yet. You have to  _promise_ you won't tell."

Ronan would take this to his _grave_. And yes, his actual grave, because he now felt like being buried under fifty feet of dirt. That, or ascending to heaven, shooting up from the ground with absolute, pure happiness.

"See this?" He hurriedly held two fingers to his mouth and zipped it closed. "Zip. Locked. Key thrown out. Whatever. I won't tell  _anybody_."

"Wait, wait, wait," Adam kept whispering, placing a hand on Ronan's thigh. Ronan tensed, and tried to escape the grip, but it only tightened. "There's a part two."

What could  _possibly_ be a good follow-up to that first secret? "Okay, I'm listening."

Adam carefully looked left and right, as if to check if anybody was there to listen, and put his mouth to Ronan's ear and murmured the rest.

" _He's been wanting to do this to Ronan for a while, too_."

Ronan felt a hand on his cheek, and before he knew it, Adam was  _kissing_ him. No, really, as in, kissing Ronan _full on the lips_.

It started out soft, exploratory, as if Adam was questioning whether or not Ronan was allowing it. His eyes and mouth were closed, and, for the most part, the kiss was chaste. That fact didn't do anything for Ronan's heart, which was threatening to beat out of his chest any damn second. 

Then, Adam pulled away. Ronan's eyes darted open with alarm. _Damn it._  Some things were too good to last.

Opening his eyes, Adam licked his lips and whispered, "Well, _something_ like that."

Ronan placed a hand on the back of Adam's neck and pulled him in, repeating the kiss. This time around, it was more passionate, with Ronan biting on Adam's lower lip, Adam groaning, their tongues a mess of whiskey and saliva.

When they pulled apart, both were panting, and it took a few moments for Ronan to manage a weak, "Like _that_?"

Adam sighed and reached for the whiskey bottle. "Yeah," he said, before twisting the bottle open. "He's dying to do that and more, actually. But, well, what can I do? Adam's always been  _very stubborn_ about these things." He took a long drink of the remaining whiskey.

"Oh yes, very stubborn," Ronan agreed, nodding. There was no way he wasn't getting punk'd right now. He suspiciously looked around the room for any hidden cameras.

"And I keep telling him he should just fucking  _confess_ ," Adam continued, gesturing with his free hand. "But  _no_ , it was always, "Ronan doesn't like me back! He'll _never_ settle for trailer park trash like me!" Blah blah blah, you know how he is, the little _*hic*_ bastard."

"But he isn't trailer park trash," Ronan said, before he could stop himself. Adam shouldn't think of himself so lowly.  _He's the whole world I couldn't dream even if I tried. He's all my dreams, beautifully put together and personified. God, would I love to wake up to him._

"Yeah, well,  _that's exactly what I said_!" Adam slurred, pointing at him and tapping his nose. "You should try telling him sometime. You sound  _verrrry_ convincing."

Ronan cocked his head to one side, carefully considering his next question. "You know him better than I do. Do you think he'll ever tell m _—_ _Ronan_ about how he feels?"

Adam cocked his head to the same side as Ronan, thinking for a few seconds before, "Nope. Never. He's too much of a coward. Ronan will  _definitely_ have to tell him first. Or else, the world just falls apart."

This was not an answer among any of the reasonable replies Ronan had in mind. Before he could think it over, he said angrily, "But that's so  _unfair_! I've done so much  _shit_ for him! There's the lotion, the mixtape, the visits to his workplace, the sleepovers at St. Agnes. The punch to the head his father fucking deserved. Doesn't that say enough? I'm  _in love_ with Adam, for crying out loud! He's brilliant, he's amazing, he's the _whole world_. Why should he have to fucking wait for me to do _anything_? I am so done with all of this tip-toeing around, too. It hurts, you know. I've loved him for _—_ _for-fucking-ever_ , and he's just keeping quiet, damn, I don't even _—"_

Ronan's monologue was stopped short by a series of soft snores from the other end of the couch.

He looked at Adam, and saw that he, with his mouth open and the almost-empty bottle clutched to his chest, had fallen asleep.

Ronan's anger softened into something _—fondness?_ _—_ and he exhaled sharply. Adam must've been tired from all the secret-spilling that happened. He took the bottle from his hands and set it down on the floor. 

 _Adam liked him_. He wasn't sure what to do with this information. How could he process something that took  _this_ much alcohol to let out?

After a few moments, Ronan stood up and looked for a blanket and pillow. There was no point in driving Adam back to St. Agnes; he'll just explain the whole situation to Gansey and the others later. Without the "secrets", of course.

Gently lifting Adam's head, Ronan tucked the pillow underneath, and smiled as Adam adjusted to the pillow. He carefully draped the blanket over Adam's sleeping form. 

He crouched down and observed Adam's face. Asleep, he looked almost...  _younger_ , like being awake and worrying about whatever bullshit life had to give him drained all the youth from his face. Ronan loved the view. 

Or, keeping in mind the secrets, Ronan was incredibly sure that he loved Adam.

He was slightly startled as Adam began to blink awake. Yawning, he regarded Ronan with questioning eyes and murmured, "Ro _—Ronan?_ Wh-what are you _—"_

" _Hoc est somnium_ ," Ronan whispered, placing two fingers on Adam's eyelids and urging them closed. "Sleep."

With a contented hum, Adam turned around and slept. After a few moments of making sure he was really asleep, Ronan allowed himself an internal wave of happiness. He felt like he could do anything, be anything. _Adam liked him_. 

The grin on his face felt powerful, infinite.

"Happy fucking birthday, Parrish," he murmured, softly planting a kiss on Adam's forehead. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also [on tumblr](http://exyjunkies.tumblr.com)!


End file.
